Farting in Las Vegas

No one can deny that the Las Vegas strip is a one of a kind of vacation. It is an endless plethora of stimulation that quickly transforms you into another world. From the endless almost naked woman begging you and your children to take pictures with them to the dancing fountains in front of the Bellagio, it is a constant barrage of fantasy. Not to mention music blasting and building size television screens everywhere blasting advertisements for everything from Vegas shows to high-class shopping offered.

Las Vegas, NV

Another great part of the Las Vegas strip is the availability of wide variety of food and drinks. It is legal to walk around with tall alcoholic drinks, some so tall they can stand on the ground while still be in your hand. These drinks are available 24 hours a day, which means that you can sip on them while eating your breakfast, and no one will stare or judge you for your choice of breakfast drink. 

Let’s talk about eating for a moment. This is one of the few places in the world where eating is more of a sport than something to meet your daily nutritional needs. Every casino is stuffed with various eating opportunities. Most are considered “pleasure” or “comfort” food and loaded with plenty of empty calories. But, hey you don’t go to Las Vegas to diet, so indulge.

This all brings me to my personal Las Vegas story. I’ll be real here, this is not my first time to the infamous Las Vegas strip, we were going as a fast stop-over from a two weeklong road trip. We live just a few hours away, so we make a trip out here every couple of years, because why not! 

We had decided that for this trip we were going to limit it to walking the strip, swimming in the pool, and splurging on a few meals. We started the first night with a short swim followed up with a dinner of greasy cheeseburgers and fries at a place that prides itself on the XXL cheeseburger, which is four burger patties. If you’re wondering, we did see two men eating this XXL cheeseburger but treated it more like a casual meal.

Anyhow, we headed down the strip as planned but somewhere between the heavy dinner, the 32 oz sweet alcoholic beverage, and the incredible stimulation of people, lights, and music my stomach began to get a little gassy and bloated ( I get gassy with heavy food). I tried my best to hold in the barrage of gas my stomach was begging to push out. I held my butt cheeks tight as I could until I was walking like I had a stick up my ass. Finally, I could not hold back anymore, I let go of my tight ass muscles and let a glorious large fart right in the middle of a crowd of people. As amazing as it felt I suddenly felt a sense of guilt over what I had just done. I quickly scanned the people around me to see who noticed what I had just done. To my shock, no one seem to notice what I had just done.  I was strangely disappointed that not one person, even my own family had heard or smelled what I had just done. So, I did what anyone else would do in this situation I let out an even larger fart, just to see if indeed no one noticed. Again, not one response to what I had just done, this time I found it absolutely glorious. This might be the only place on earth a person can fart freely without anyone noticing, this is a complete game-changer.

I decided to see how far I could push this free farting. As we made our way down the strip, we stopped to look at free shows, talk to vendors, and shop. I found it almost exhilarating to see how many places I could freely fart. We would walk down the strip I let one after another rip in almost a song-like fashion. We would stop at the vendors to get a hard sell, the whole time I would fart one after another. We stopped to get pastries from an Italian bakery in a casino, the long wait in line was much more fun as I continued to let the farts ring out, no one moved away, strange as it might seem the line behind me actually grew longer.

New York Casino

Later that night we stopped to play a few coins in one of the slot machines. I can’t say we won but we were able to play a while on 30 dollars, long enough for me to test my farts on those sitting close to me. One man actually hit a jackpot who was sitting within farting receiving range, my farts brought him good luck.  After a while it seemed like people actually came to sit closer to me the more, I farted. I was more than happy to sprinkle everyone with my lucky fairy farts.

My husband even joined me at one point farting while sitting on the bridge in front of New York casino and again while getting a massage in one of those aqua massagers. The next day we had a standard greasy heavy Vegas breakfast, a must-do for anyone visiting Las Vegas. We then decided to hit the pool for a few hours.  The music was so loud and there were so much different lotions and perfumes going on I thought why not try to fart here. So, for the next few hours, my husband and I sat on the outside of the pool taking turns exchanging farts. Not one person noticed what we were doing, even though the lounge chairs crowed closely together. At one point we went and put our feet in the pool to cool down and my husband let out a silent bomber, the kind that makes your toes curl, while the lifeguard was standing near us. We did see him sniff and look around for the strange smell, it was hard not to laugh at the face he made. Other than that, we had no other Responses.

What’s the point of farting all around Las Vegas, absolutely nothing? Other than it was a fun social experiment on the incredible stimulation, both sound, visual and smell all around the Las Vegas strip. After all, although completely normal, farting can be one of the most embarrassing things people fear doing in a public place. So, take it from me, if you’re visiting the Las Vegas strip and find the need to fart, don’t be a check hugger like me, just let them go, no one is going to notice.

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